Coined

It's going to be a busy summer.

I post absolutely everything to my blog. Except for stuff about work, because anything really socially interesting would probably be inappropriate, and I'm not very interested in writing technical posts. I avoid talking about relationships or interpersonal drama, because those details tend to be private and most of the people who pay attention to my journal are real-life friends, not anonymous internet confidantes. Finally, I try to leave out most of the day-to-day minutiae -- I don't see the point in listing what I had for breakfast or complaining that someone cut me off in traffic. What's left? Not much.

I read a bit by someone recently -- I thought it was Opinionista, but I guess not -- about how you only post to your blog when you're in a certain mood, so the self presented there is a perhaps misleading facet of your personality.  This is certainly true for me, as well.  I only post when I'm feeling social enough to think about other people, and antisocial enough to stay home.  And when I'm too tired to self-censor.  As much.

So, mood and content: I'm likely to post when I'm in a tired, semi-delirious, both-social-and-antisocial state.  And I tend toward meta-content, self-referential or abstract.  Such topics exhausted, I segue awkwardly into the mundane.I'm utterly wrecked from K's workouts, which explains the delirium.  At least my legs seem to be working normally again. I didn't make it to this thing at Machine Project that looked cool, but I just wasn't feeling up to the driving and talking and people.   I did find an archery range near my apartment that will lend out equipment and let people use the range for free.  It's been a lot of fun.

I've been listening to The Magnetic Fields, The Killers and Death Cab, mostly, with a bit of Kimya Dawson and Olga Nunes thrown in.  Go take a look at Grooveshark.  Very beta, been lagging a bit lately, but neat.  I'm also on last.fm.

I took the alternate route home yesterday.  The one with all the greenery (yes, even in LA, there is vegetation).  And with ducks.  A good duck pond is strangely reassuring.

I'm in a daze, having woken up at 5 am to take S to the airport. (Yes, it was 5 am, and I was listening to los angeles.) She'll be gone for a couple of weeks, but fortunately the missing her hasn't really kicked in yet. Have you noticed my "wake up too early and post a blog entry" trend? I guess twice doesn't really count as a trend. I think it's actually just that interruptions of my routine make me more likely to do random or creative things. And that when I'm tired I'm less likely to self-censor, and my self-censorship is easily capable of eradicating entire entries.

On a vaguely similar note, I think the main reason I find work so exhausting isn't so much the work itself, even in crunch mode. It's that I work in an open area, in close proximity with a lot of people, and I'm a true introvert. Eight hours around other people is pretty draining.

Strategicon was fun (if a little draining, for the aforementioned reasons). I saw old friends, met interesting people, met uninteresting people, and played eight hours of Roborally. And six hours of Descent. And came in second in the San Juan tournament. I'm going to be burned out on board games for a while. At least a day or two.

I feel like I have a lot of travel coming up. I guess it's really just a wedding in October, and then Thanksgiving and the Christmas / New Years holiday... but I've also got friends I've been meaning to visit, and vacation days to burn, and cities on the prospectively-moving-to-eventually list that could use some checking out.

I wonder if I should back-fill this blog with entries from my old one?

I'm pretty tired. I'd better get to work.

I woke up surprisingly early this morning and decided to go running. Navigation turned out to be a bit more difficult without my glasses, so it was a longer run than I really intended, but it was still nice to be out in the early light, with a slight scattering of other people, most more friendly and polite than you’d expect further into the day.

On my way to work I was aware of the slight differences: lighter traffic, of course, and a nearly empty parking structure, but particularly the differences in light. Sufficient change in angle and hue to make me feel like I’m on a different freeway, in a different parking structure, wandering up a different street toward the office as I eat one of the quite tasty plums S brought home from the farmer’s market. And this essentially illusory sense of change helps, a bit. But my lifestyle, this consistent routine, is really starting to wear me down.

I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be willing to work where I work and live where I live. I don’t know how much of this is the specifics of my situation, and how much is just the inevitable nature of any 9 to 5 corporate job. And I don’t know if I’d actually be happier or more comfortable pursuing some less conventional lifestyle. My preferences are erratic and my focus hard to predict. So maybe I’ll feel better tomorrow, and vanish into months of work and video games and travel and S and recovery from travel and work and video games and travel, and eventually wake up from that comfortable grey blur and post another dissatisfied blog entry before drifting off again. Who can tell?

But I think, at least, that I need to get out of LA soon. I feel the need to be outside, and there’s no outside here. Just pavement.

I arrived at PYM late, as usual. For the past five years or so I've been arriving mid-week, not wanting to take the extra time off of work. For most of the first day I felt awkward and hesitant, unable to find that old sense of connection. But by the evening I was a part of the group again, and the rest of the week was lovely.

High points were capture the flag, ultimate frisbee, dancing for several hours, and the usual individual conversations. The ice cream social and Wink would have been high points, I'm sure, but S and I were pretty tired that night and headed for bed around 1 am.

A number of older YFs showed up at the end of the week, and there was a lot of reminiscing. PYM next year will be in the same place it was 14 years ago, and many of us still remember that year pretty well. Our conversations gave me an odd, comforting sense of continuity. And I was impressed with the way the younger YFs handle themselves, as a group. Business that came up was addressed intelligently and patiently, and they have in large part integrated the elements of Quaker culture that I admire. I'm not so very community-oriented, myself, but it's nice to watch this one progress.

I had a good conversation with my dad about religion and community and self-direction and integrity (the usual). I made a lot of tentative plans to hang out back in the real world. I introduced S to a lot of people, and I feel like she got a good sense of the group. Whether I have any more involvement with the Quakers, she'll understand where this part of me comes from. And that's worth a lot.

Pym_various

What's the oldest digital camera photo you have on your computer? When is it from? Let's see it!

I first bought a digital camera at the beginning of 2003.  I've gone through a couple of hard drives since then, so I'm not sure of timestamps, but this was one of the first pictures I took -- my little studio apartment in Berkeley.

Apt-inside

2 comments

The oldest picture I can find on my computer -- digital or not -- is scanned, and was taken at least 15 years ago: 

Colin_reading

This is the video I mentioned earlier.

MVI_3020

I decided not to go anywhere for the 4th.  I like fireworks.  They're pretty.  But it just doesn't seem worth the traffic and parking and crowds, and I was out a lot this past weekend... so it was nice to have a quiet, relaxing night at home.

People were setting off firecrackers and fireworks in the street, on the sidewalk... occasionally they'd aim badly and hit a tree.  I went out for a few minutes and took a video with my digital camera.  I tried to upload that this morning, but it looks like Vox didn't like something about the format, so I'll try again later.  It's pretty low-quality -- digital, nighttime, rapid motion, etc.  But you can get the idea.

This doesn't surprise me that much... my neighborhood's always noisy, and they've been setting off occasional firecrackers for the past week or so.  But this was pretty crazy to watch.  And occasionally someone would set something on fire and start yelling for water -- I heard that a couple of times after I went to bed.

Trying out the flickr integration with a recent photo from the san diego zoo.

IMG_2982

Saturday was a beach bbq at Leo Carillo -- there were a lot of people there, and it was fun despite being too windy to do much (play frisbee or volleyball, for example).  Saw a few friends I don't see often, which was nice.  A couple of friends brought a kayak, and made an abortive launch attempt from a small rocky section of beach -- they ended up just playing around with it in a little landlocked cove.

Sunday was Jen's birthday, and we went to the San Diego Zoo.  A bit of a drive (I haven't been to San Diego before) and pretty hot and crowded, but it was a nice trip overall.  Jen got to visit the petting zoo, which is a vital part of her zoo experience.

I took a number of photos, both days, and will have them online soon.  I've avoided using Flickr for a long time, preferring my friend's Gallery setup, but I've been seduced by the not particularly dark side.  So I think I'll start adding some of my photos to Flickr when I upload, as well as to the Gallery.  I'll include a few here when they're up -- after all, I have to try out Vox's terribly exciting Flickr integration.

Side note: I tried out the "what celebrity do you most resemble" page with my Vox headshot, and it said I was a 55% match with Selma Blair.  Maybe I should try a different picture.

I skipped the "favorite recipe" QOTD, because I don't have any favorite fancy recipes -- most of my favorite foods are pretty simple.  But while reading about others' favorites, I remembered something I used to make as a kid.

When I was about 12, I would make "wake-up juice".  If I recall correctly, this concoction was about 2/3 vinegar, 1/3 lemon juice, heavily salted, with some added tabasco sauce.  I think I liked the idea more than the drink, although I did really like sour / acidic tastes.  It's a wonder I have any stomach lining left.